God is Numbah One

I'm sure you have heard a comparison of rocks to the decisions in our lives or to how we spend our time. Recently our pastor spoke about big rocks in relation to the time we spend doing things that are important to us. If you spend your time doing all of the little, non-important things (pebbles or sand) then they will fill up all of your time and the big, important things (big rocks) will not get done. For the past few weeks my husband and I have been talking about big rocks. We wanted to come to agreement on what they were for us but it was very difficult to make the time to even have that conversation. We finally sat down last Sunday to talk about this, but the issue is still not resolved. I've come to the conclusion that as a couple we have big rocks that we must agree upon, but as an individual I also have to define my big rocks. In my last post I listed some goals that I have for this year, but not all of them are big rocks. For example, I will not spend a large amount of my time every week running a half marathon (goal), but I will spend a large amount of time training (big rock).

This concept of big rocks is a difficult one for me to master. I've come to the conclusion that although I really want to identify and incorporate all of my big rocks into my life, like yesterday, that it is impossible. I must be content with one or two rocks at a time. So in an attempt to lower my frustration levels I am only focusing on the big rock of "God" this week. My main focus is to develop a routine for interacting with God on a daily basis. That is not to say that I will do nothing else of importance, but I am saying that it is okay with me if I do not get other things finished. I invite you to choose your own big rock to focus on this week, or to join me and let your focus be on God so that He can clear the fog from our lives and help us see His will more clearly.

My Year of Self-Centeredness

Today is my 33rd birthday. My family surprised me with a celebration earlier this weekend. I made preparations for today last night by cleaning my living room, dining room, and kitchen because I was tired of all the crap and clutter and did not want to awake to that this morning. Today, however, I work up different. I didn't feel it last night as I was cleaning and I didn't feel it last weekend when I was hanging with the fam. I felt it today. I felt a solemnness that was both peaceful and clarifying while it was disturbing. I struggle with birthdays because of garbage from my childhood, but this sobriety was not from that. I reflected that Jesus died at 33. Wow. 33 is so young, yet His life has made an eternal impact on the rest of us. I've decided that I would make my 33rd year a year of self-centeredness. A year where I take a good look at myself and my life and clean out the crap. This blog will serve as my accountability to walk though this year in reflection and refinement.

What will this look like?

• Losing weight
• Toning up and running a half marathon
• Clearing out and cleaning up the clutter and mess in my house
• Making my house a resting place of peace
• Developing a daily regimen for meeting with God throughout the day
• Being still and silent
• Beginning to climb my way out of debt
• Listening to what my body needs and only giving it the correct fuel
• Give myself over to my creative side (music, art, sewing, baking)
• Being selfless in my love for my husband

I am nervous about this list. I don't think I can do it. I almost didn't write a blog because I knew that if these words were in print there would be no turning back. It's time for me to be focused, serious, do the uncomfortable things, and make my life count. I choose to do the hard things now so that I won't have to do the harder things later.

Ahh...They're So Cute

I'm sitting at a basketball camp in Hesperia, CA helping my husband. Helping him with paperwork that is. If I were to teach at a basketball camp I would scare away his clients. For a few years I've asked for him to teach me how to play, but he hasn't yet. Oh well, maybe by the time I'm 70.

Anyway, back to the topic of kids. They're so cute. Until you have them in your class, get to know them, and see them as real people. Kids are cool, but they are people too. They have their own opinions, personality quirks, and giftings. Kids are really great, but they really can work on my nerves at times. For example, when Gio won't shut up in class, when Ivan attempts to run you down with his wheel chair, or when Laly does all she can to get out of work simply because she struggles to learn and is frustrated and embarrassed by it.

Kids are people too, but we need to treat them more kindly than we do adults. No, that does not mean to spoil or indulge them, it means not to crush them. I can't tell you how many people I've met who claim to love kids, yet they speak harshly to them without cause, favor some and despise others, or just do a crap job at teaching and the kids don't learn. On one occasion I had to stand between a teacher and a student and tell the teacher to back off and stop yelling at my kid. Granted, he was a pain in the rear, but the teacher needed to get a hold of herself and leave my student alone. Go pick on someone your own age.

Kids are fragile. Be nice to them.

Star of the Show

Welcome to my life starring me. Only my husband's blocking the spotlight. Damn. I've found myself in a position of intense happiness and utter frustration. Me, the star of the show must play a supporting role. No! make that an extra walk-on role in the life of my husband. Strike that. Not in the life of my husband, but in the life that people think my husband lives. I know that to my boo I'm the most beautiful, intelligent, honest, sexy woman he knows.

Did you hear that heifers?! Stay the hell away from my man.

I digress. The way that others view my husband is what gets me. He's the star of the show and I'm just some flat character that appears every now and again to further the plot. What! Damn people, get to know me.

My husband and I are both energetic, dynamic, kind, life-of-the-party people. Only he more than me. I once read a book by Gail Evans titled Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman. In it she said that at a dinner party she always sits couples away from one another because one spouse always has a more dominate personality that will overpower the other's. If they are seated away from one another they will both be able to flourish and enjoy the party. Boy was she right. Who do you think is out-shined in this relationship?

As I was saying, we have similar personalities except for one small detail: he's an extrovert and I'm not. No really. He can play the room and warm the crowd. He'll have the whole room eating out of his hand by the time we leave. They won't stop talking about him. They can't wait to see him again. They congratulate me on catching such a man! My goodness. Seriously? They must be smoking. I know I've got a good man, but it's not as if I'm out of my league.

Those "church pretty" girls have daggers in their eyes when they look at me. They all had their chance at him but they weren't good enough. According to them, I'm too quiet, too fat, and too dumb to have such an intelligent, handsome man as my husband. Oh please, he's not that awesome.

While my husband can play the room I prefer to work on a much smaller scale. I'm cautious. I watch people. Listen. Observe. I read them. When I know enough I either emerge as my true self or remain hidden away. It's so much more important to me to have an accurate read on a person rather than to be concerned about what they think of me.

My husband is the best man I know and in his eyes I'm the star of the show.

Karen's Pumpkin Pie Blondies

Pumpkin pie is my favorite pie, right after cherry of course. I have been know to have more than 2 whipped cream covered pumpkin pie slices on Thanksgiving and had the stomach pains to prove it. More recently I have been making sweet potato pie for the holidays ever since I got the recipe from Karen.

Prior to my obtaining Karen's recipe I made sweet potato cake with pecans and delectable icing. It quickly became a family tradition along with my baked apples with butterscotch sauce. My second Thanksgiving with my husband I once again set out to make my cake. The base of my cake was a can of Bruce's Sweet Potato Pie filling, and the side of the can had directions for how to make the cake. That Thanksgiving I would not find Bruce's. I had always been able to find in at Albertsons, however I cannot count how many Albertsons I went to to find that stupid pie filling. By this time I was cranky and crying. My husband, being the good man that he is, attempted to console me, but of course I could not be consoled. He finally found Bruce's on Amazon and ordered 2 cans for me. I was delighted and my worrying was done, this is until it never came. It was just days before Thanksgiving and I had no way to make sweet potato cake. He pleaded with me to let him call his friend Karen, because he was sure that because she was from the South she would know where to find Bruce's. When he finally wore down my pride and I allowed him to call she gave a little chuckle as if to say, "Pie filling? You think I use pie filling from the can? Who do you think I am? Where do you think I'm from? Foolish Californians do I have to teach you everything?" Okay so her chuckle didn't say all that, but I felt like it did. As you can guess Karen didn't know where to find Bruce's but she kindly gave me her recipe for sweet potato pie.

Nowadays I don't even want to make that cake because Karen's pie is so good. The recipe can also be used with pumpkin, and that is where I got my idea for pumpkin pie blondies. I whip up my blondie batter then add some of Karen's pie to the mix. When I pull it out of the oven and slice it it is like eating an ultra portable slice of pumpkin pie that you can take anywhere. In honor of Karen I had to name these treats after her.